A lesson I need to learn again (and again) is the fact that how I may FEEL does not determine what in FACT is happening, or who or what I AM. I am not here to feel good, but to do God's will as He gives me enough understanding to perceive that will.
Pursuing FEELING is counter-productive; at the same time, what I do pursue is a PRESENCE, and that is beyond my control to perceive at will. When in fact I am aware that God Himself is Present it is indescribably good- beyond what I would call "feeling" yet assurance, joy, ecstacy are words that come to mind-- the I AM THAT I AM making Himself known in the way that He chooses- still small voice, inner persuasion, or sheer wonder. Those moments for me are far between, although the in between times are not bereft of assurance.
Still-- what happens in the desert places? How may we become men and women of God? How may I?
Our culture knows so very much! It has given us tools that threaten to be our masters-- diversions that keep our attention-- the wisdom of the ages seems so very much out of date to a generation that knows everything already, and can google in an instant what it doesn't know.
Our goal seems to be feeling good NOW! No empty spaces. No times of quiet. Boring. Answers. Never pondering questions. Pondering?
David wrote (in Psalm 37:34) "Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to possess the land..."
Sometimes it seems waiting is hard to do . . .
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